21 ways to annoy the crap out of Murty and Nasuada
by SophieForeverCharmed
Summary: Pretty much what the tittle says. My own list of 21 ways to annoy Murty and Nas. Rated T because I felt like it. Please give it a shot.
1. The list

**Disclaimer: Paolini owns the Inheritance Cycle. Not me. Clear?**

**A/N: ( SPOILERS FOR INHERITANCE) I actually loved the MxN in the 4th book, but for some reason I can't help it but make fun of them. I feel a little meanie:( But anyway! I'm doing this. WARNING: Might cause laughter. Don't you dare blame me about it. You have been warned.**

Sing _kind of magic _and _who wants to live forever_ whenever you see them.

Compare them to Bella and Edward.

Ask Nasuada if the burn marks on her arms are "love scars"

Tell Murtagh that before they started dating Nasuada was seriously thinking of marrying king Orrin.

Tell Nasuada that Thorn is in love with Saphira, and so is Murtagh with Eragon.

Convince Thorn to eat Nasuada.

Steal Zar'rock and claim Nasuada did it.

Whenever you see them kissing shout RAPE.

Make sure you take them on video, then give it to Galbatorix.

Ask Nasuada how she can stand having an emo boyfriend. Make sure Murty is listening.

Tell Murtagh that Nasuada ordered Eragon to kill him.

Convince Eragon to flirt with Nasuada and Arya with Murtagh.

Or, if you want something unusual convince Eragon to flirt with Murtagh and Arya with Nasuada.

Make to Murtagh a fake profile on a date site. Make sure Nasuada sees it.

In random times walk up to them and cry WHY!

Force them to read every single MxN fanfiction existing.

Continuously call them " my little scatterbrained lovebirds"

Paint Murtagh's skin black and say it's so he can match Nasuada.

Run to the Varden and yell the traitor is kidnapping the queen!

Ressurect Ajihad and give him a copy if Inheritance. When he totally freaks out with the MxN scenes say: " Isn't it amazing? And to think that some parts were cut off because they weren't suitable for teens... Such a shame..." Videotape results.

**So? Did you like it? I think it's funny but I want your opinion too. So please review! It's the easiest thing in the world, you just press the button, and write something.**

**P.S: About number 1: Don't take me wrong, I love the songs. About number 10: If someone here is emo, no offence. **

**P.S.S: This is probably going to be a oneshot, but I could write more if you like. It would be funny to see how Murty and Nas would react. **


	2. As for the singing part

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inheritance. But wouldn't it be cool if I did? I do own only Mary and Niki. They are my friends and I have every right to use them-they sold me their souls.**

**A/N: Hey thank you all guys for your wonderful reviews. Do you want to hear a little secret? You all failed my secret test! ( Galbatorix's evil laugh) None of you noticed I made only twenty of them, and not twenty-one. Ha. Hey, were are you going? I do not believe you're now going to check it? Oh, well, fine go, but come back quickly. Are you back? Nice. Let's go to the story now. **

Chapter Two: As for the singing part...

Mary and Niki hid behind a bush, spying on Murtagh and Nasuada. Mary took a wrinkled paper out of her pocket.

" Ok... number one is... sing _kind of magic _and _who wants to live forever_ whenever you see them" Niki smiled evily.

" I got this" She calmly made her way to the pair, and started walking only a few feet away from them.

" One dream, one soul, one prize, one goal. One golden glance of what should be" They stared at her puzzled. " It's a kind of magic, magic. It's a kind of magic, magic" They distinctivly tried to walk away. Mary smiled from her hideout.

" They really should have known better" Niki ran after them.

" One shaft of light, that shows they way, no mortal man, can win this day!" she sang into Nasuada's ear.

" Are you feeling well?" Murtagh asked with the she's-totally-nuts tone.

" It's a kind of magic, magic. It's a kind of magic, MAGIC!" Niki began to dance like she was in the disco.

" I swear, if you don't stop following us..." Nasuada threatened her.

" The bell, that rings, inside your mind. Is chalenging, the doors of time..." Niki continuoued like she hadn't heard a word. Mary gigled. Murtagh's face turned red. He took Zar'roc out of it's sheat and tried to attack her.

" SECURITY!" Mary screamed. " I need security!" Nasuada slapped her head.

" Oh no, not her too..." Meanwhile, the totally forgotten Niki walked away, still singing it's a kind of magic. The outraged Murtagh turned to her.

" Hey, look, is that Santa?" The girl cried, pointing somewhere far away.

" WHAT? Where's Santa? Hey that's not Santa!" Murtagh became furious.

" Uhh... gotta go!" Mary started running. Then, Niki magically transformed her to their secret hideout, which I didn't bother to tell you that existed, exactly as I didn't bother to tell you that they could use magic. The two girls would rest for the time being, but their task wasn't over yet. If Murtagh and Nasuada thought their torture was over, they thought wrong.

Later this day, after Mary and Niki had made their plans they left their hideout. This time, Mary would be doing the job. Niki sat and relaxed, watching her friend approaching the hopelles pair. Putting on her most serious face, she pretended to cry.

"There's no time for us. There's no place for us. What is this thing that builds our dreams yet slips away from us?" Both Murtagh and Nasuada sighed.

" Not again..." Mary ignored them.

" Who wants to live forever, who wants to live forever?" Nasuada was close to a nervous breakdown.

" Won't you SHUT UP?"

" There's no chance for us. It's all decided for us. The world has only one sweet moment set aside for us" Murtagh found a wall and started pounding his head. " Who wants to live forever, who wants to live forever?"

" STOP!" Nasuada screamed. Mary couldn't help it but gigle before she continuoued the song.

" Who dares to love forever? When love must die..." Nasuada then decided to join Murtagh and started pounding her head to the wall too. Mary walked over to them, for once forgetting to sing. " Uh, guys? You might not want to do that" The pair stopped immediately.

" Why? Asked Nasuada but fast regretted it. Mary pointed to a big sign next to the wall. They raised their eyes and read: PAINTED. DO NOT TOUCH. Just then they realised their heads were full of paint. Nasuada screamed. Murtagh''s face turned pale, green, purple, and the pale again.

" You damned-"

" Who wants to live forever, who wants to live forever?" Murtagh screamed too. Like a five year old girl.

" WHY? He asked her.

" Oh, Murty, don't be so emo and get a life" Niki who just appeared replied.

" I'm not a- Wait what's an emo?" He asked puzzled. Niki and Mary sighed disapprovingly.

" You don't need to hide that you're emo Murty. We accept you for what you are" Mary explained.

" WHAT. IS. AN. EMO?"

" Come on Murty, don't try to lie to us. It's totally ok to be emo when you're a rider that had a horrible life, and is going to live forever while your girlfriend will die when you still seem in your twenties! It is understood. And again: Who wants to live forever, who wants to live forever?" Niki remarked.

" Who dares to love forever? When love must die..." Mary joined her. Murtagh growled.

" Just kill me..."

" Murtagh don't you dare think about that! Death is not the solution. How would Nasuada feel? Niki asked, pretending to be upset.

" Hey Nas, how does the fact that Murtagh wants to die for you make you feel? Mary asked happily. Nasuada raised her gaze.

" Just walk away. And NEVER. COME. BACK" Niki placed a hand on her shoulder.

" Poor girl" she muttered. " I understand. But you must try to understand Murty. Who wants to live forever?"

" AGHHHHHHHH!" Murtagh and Nasuada ran away the fastest they could. In one day they had endured from those two girls more than from Galbatorix in months. And this was only the beginning.

**FINISHED! Loved? Hated? Review anyway! Cause if you don't, I'll send Mary and Niki to your house to drive you insane. That's right, I know where you live! **

**Murtagh: Hey, if the chapter is over why are we still here?**

**Me: Ooops...sorry.**

**Niki and Mary: It's a kind of magic...**

**Nasuada: SHUT UP! **

**Galbatorix: Murtagh? You like Nasuada? She's then enemy! How dare you. I'll punish you for that!**

**Murtagh: Sir I- waaaait. Weren't you supposed to be dead?**

**Me: And weren't you supposed to find out that they're together later? **

**Mary and Niki: Who wants to live forever?**

**Nasuada: Will you ever-**

**Me: Ok, all of you OUT! The chapter is done! **

**Sorry you had to see that guys. They sometimes turn wild (sobs). But anyway, back to the point, review and have a smoothie! Wait? What? **


	3. Twillight and Nicknames

**Disclaimer: It hurts to say it, it hurts like hell, but no, I don't own it.**

**A/N: It's time to party! Lol. I'm sorta out of my mind today so don't expect anything logical. Once again a _huge_ thanks to my reviewers, you guys are awsome. Yeah, I'm kinda out of things to say. Let's go to the story.**

Chapter Two: Twillight and Nicknames

Murty and Nassy were in the gardens of Ilirea, in a very romantic moment, watching the twillight. Poor people. You know what they say: good things don't last. Mary and Niki appeared out of nowhere and invited their selfs to the little date. They sat next to their pair and got their sefls comfortable.

" Oh, no. Not again" Nasuada said in terror.

" Yes, again. But if that makes you feel better, we're not gonna sing" Both Murty and Nassy seemed relieved.

" Yeah actually we're kind of sorry for you. You remind us Bella and Edward you know" Niki said abstractly. They blinked.

" Who and who?" Mary pretended to fade.

" YOU HAVEN"T READ TWILLIGHT?"

" How in Helgrind can someone _read _twillight? Murtagh protested. Both girls made jeering sounds.

" Twillight is a _book _Murty" explained Niki, as if she was talking to a five year old.

" Hey don't talk to him like that" Mary defended him. " It's not his fault that he has the brain of a five year old pudding!" Nassy was puzzled.

" But puddings don't have brains" she objected.

" Exactly" the girls said at the same time. Her eyes shone with tears.

" Don't you talk of my man like that!" she said in a childish voice.

" Yeah, whatever, anyway, that's twillight, so _read_" Niki said and gave Murtagh the book, " accidentally" hitting him with it.

" You're not the boss of mine!" He protested.

" Fine. Then I"m going to tell _the boss of yours_ that you're dating Nasuada. I'm sure Galdy will be _thrilled_" Mary threatened.

" You're pure evil you know that?" He complained and started reading. The girls gigled evily.

( A/N: Part of the story was cut off cause it was boring. So we jump to a few hours later when Murty and Nassy have finished the book. Oh and it's afternoon now)

" That so not like us!" Nasuada claimed offended.

" Yeah I mean the guy is a freakin' vampire!"

" And the girl is a Sue!" The girls rolled their eyes.

" Oh and you're not?" That was too much for poor Nassy.

" You're such a ***********************!" Even Murtagh stared at her surprised.

" Hey watch your mouth girl. You're going to pay for this!" Mary warned her.

" Don't you dare threaten her!" A very annoyed Murtagh intervened.

" Oh and what are you going to do? _Bite me_?" Niki said ironically.

" I'm going kill you you bloody-"

" Aghhh! He wants my blood! He wants my blood" Mary screamed running around.

" Gotta go. Bye!" said Niki and turned to leave, loudly whispering something about uncontrollable vampires and suicidal Sues. Nasuada faded. Murtagh slapped his head.

After Murty and Nassy got over the shock, they decided to go to a nice restaurant to forget about it. Quickly they found out that Niki and Mary were to the table next to them.

" No. It's an illusion. _Leave_" Murtagh begged, hidding his head in his arms.

" Oh, come on Murty, you know that deep inside you want us here" remarked Niki smilling innocently.

" Uh, hello? _I'm _his girlfriend and I'm right here" Nasuada reminded them.

" Oh, shut up Bella, you do you even dare talking to him after kissing Jacob!" Mary yelled, making sure the whole restaurant heard her.

" I. AM. NOT. BELLA. SWAN!" She growled.

" Yeah and I'm not a unicorn" Niki sneered. Bella- Nasuada I mean!- was puzzled again.

" But you're not!" She objected hopellesly.

" Geez Bella, I knew you were stupid but I didn't know you were _that _stupid" Mary rolled her eyes.

" Hey shut the f* up, you're stupid!" Poor lovestrunk Murty defended her. Mary gave him a deadly look.

" Stupid I might be" She said, serious for the first time. " But I'm not an idiot"

" Yeah Murty she's right, don't be rude" Niki scolded him.

" My name is not Murty!" He cried angrily.

" It's you're nickname silly!" she said making silly faces.

" Well I don't like it!" He said very childish.

" Oh, ok stubborn one, what about Tag?" Mary suggested. Tag didn't reply.

" Hey Bella what do you think? Do you like Tag?"

" Why are you calling me Bella but you're not calling him Edward?" she complained. The girls screamed in terror.

" Don't upset the vampire, he might hurt you" Niki whispered.

" Actually, I might" Murtagh threatened. " And stop calling Nasuada Bella, she's _way _better than the little annoying thingie"

" _Riiiight_" The girls said at the same time. " Well, Tag, how does the fact that Bella's going to die and you're going to live forever make you feel?" Mary asked calmly. Murtagh slapped his head.

" Why me?" he murmured.

" Oh, for many reasons that we're never going to tell you"

" Why not?" Bella- eer, Nasuada- asked.

" 'Cause, your little childish mind wouldn't be able to accept all this great information"

" Why do you hate us?" Tag complained.

" Why do you think that everybody you meet hates you?" Niki asked with kindly uninterested.

" Because. They. _Do_" he said, close to losing control.

" Oh, Tag, get a life" Mary mumbled.

" So Bella-"

Their torture continuoued for the rest of the night. When they tried to leave, they found out that the girls had somehow super glued them to their chairs. But ya know what, I'm too lazy to write all this.

**Yeap. I know it was kinda stupid. But I was bored and I had nothing better to do. Next one is gonna be better, besides there are only _so_ many things you can say about Bella...( sorry twillight fans) Oh, and if somebody wants to join the annoying team you just need to say it, or if you have some suggestion about somewhat. And review, please! It will make me update sooner.**

**Murtagh: Great, more torture.**

**Mary: Oh shut up Tag. **

**Me: Hey what are you doing here?**

**Nasuada: We didn't choose it! You're doin' it! And btw you suck.**

**Niki: I like her!**

**Mary: Me too! **

**Me: Yay!**

**Murtagh : Well _I _don't.**

**Me: Yea, but _I _control you. **

**Murtagh: Oh no. Sophie...is... the... best...author...ever. Hey I didn't really say that! **

**Nassy: Will you finish this already?**

**Me: Ooops... Well where was I? Oh yeah. Review. Or else... ( Galbatorix's evil laugh) **


	4. AN

Ok people, long time no see huh? I know and I'm awfully sorry that I haven't updated anything in the last month but I had exams and my computer had a problem and then my dad figured that I was spending too much time on the pc and wouldn't let me in at all. And now I will be leaving for holidays and he won't let me take my computer with me! Isn't that unfair? Anyway I just wanted to say that I won't be able to update for the rest of the summer, and see you guys again around September!


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